If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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