so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
