I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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