He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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