Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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