All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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