did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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