I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
