if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
