Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Is it because I queefed?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
