i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
i've created a new STD.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
