It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Can you bring me the toilet please
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
