I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
