Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
