unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
