if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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