If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
