Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
