I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
