I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
