Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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