"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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