Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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