I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
