:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
