I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
