have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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