just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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