I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
