You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
