I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
