I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
