We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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