I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
