I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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