Got a toothbrush?
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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