dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize