I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I touched a dick in church today
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
