Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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