no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
