You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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