So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I got inside last night via doggy door
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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