just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You made out with two different species that night
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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