I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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