and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
