lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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