"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
