I bet he comes in French.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
ttyl tear gas
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
