Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
