I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
