You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
