i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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