Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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