I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
