Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
