if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
