I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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