standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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