i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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