there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
