idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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