Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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