who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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