dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
